LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
A far cry from your traditional rom-com, 'Lars and the Real Girl' focuses on the relationship between Lars (Ryan Gosling) with his new girlfriend Bianca (a life-size, anatomically correct doll). Now clearly Lars isn't all there, he struggles to communicate with even his closest family and after when he orders Bianca from a website he treats her like a real person. His family become worried for his mental health and under the rouse of Bianca being ill, manage to take Lars to therapy sessions. The premise could easily lend itself to a smutty comedy but what presents itself is more sentimental fare, in the most offbeat and quirky way possible.
Ryan Gosling is fantastic in the lead role but it's about there the plaudits must stop. It's quite obvious that the filmmakers' intentions are all well placed, what's being attempted is admirable and you dearly want it to work. But it's all too twee, all too sweet, all to pure...and it really does not work. Lars' family and the local community show great understanding towards Lars, they play along with his madness and along the way we are shown how they grow with him. Sadly, this would just never happen, people are not that accepting and life is not filled with all the 'cute' moments that filter through Lars' world. What is attempted to be sentiment just comes off as weird, and just how the audience is supposed to accept that there is a 'real girl' with an interest in Lars, I will never know.
Verdict: Maybe it's a British thing, but on this side of the pond it just doesn't sit right.
LEATHERHEADS
It's really unsurprising that when you throw together an actor as interesting to watch as George 'charisma' Clooney and an actress as tedious as Renee Zellweger that what you get is fairly average. The film's plot revolves around the fledgling years of professional American Football in the US and one of it's main stars. Loosely based on real events and real players, Dodge Connolly (Clooney) brings war hero cum college football star Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski) to his team the Duluth Bulldogs, intending to use his fame to save the team. But reporter Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) throws a spanner in the works as she is set the task of investigating Rutherford's war heroics, whilst also attracting the affections of both Rutherford and Connolly.
If you're not interested in the NFL or sport in general it's not too much of a problem, it's unlikely to alienate you as in the hands of Clooney the game sequences are more fun than serious. But perhaps that is where the film has missed a trick. It's not a sports film, it's not a comedy, it's not a drama, it's a little bit of a lot of genres, it's a little bit dull. There are three plot threads, a romance lacking chemistry, a scandal which you'd rather stay uncovered and ball games of which you don't care about the outcome. It's just about watchable thanks mainly to Clooney (a man who probably sweats beads of charm) and a strong performance from The Office US star Krasinski despite a dour Zellweger and a weak script virtually neutralising their efforts.
Verdict: The various ingredients could be used to make stronger separate films, but together they're not the most appetising recipe.
MEET THE SPARTANS
The filmmakers know it's bad, the actors know it's bad, the critics know it's bad, the audience knows it's bad...so how on Earth does a film this diabolically bad make $85million. If there was a plot of which to speak of I'd be happy to explain it to you, but there isn't. What unfolds during the agonising 84 minutes is simply an overlong and unfunny riff on the fact that there was a slight homoerotic undercurrent present in 300. Because this one observation is hardly enough to fill a movie (although they do try), the cinematic antichrists Jason Freidberg and Aaron Seltzer feel the need to poke fun at any popular film or celebrity of the past six months. Hilarious!
If you buy this DVD or go watch this at the cinema you are simply encouraging them to make more, so please don't. Their latest output 'Disaster Movie' is likely to be just as bad, avoid it please at all costs. It's not like they're even putting any effort in, the lookalike celebrity's always arrive to a line such as "look, it's Britney Spears" or "Lindsay Lohan, what are you doing here", because otherwise you simply wouldn't know who the actress was supposed to be. The gags are repeated and even explained afterwards just in case you didn't get it the first time. Not only is it not funny, it's offensive to the celebrities it targets and an insult to it's audience's intelligence. If any film make's Sex and the City look inspirational, it's this. I don't like it, can you tell?
Verdict: Less fun than masturbating with a cheese grater.
Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba at the top of a film’s billing is hardly going to inspire confidence...but then again, every so often even the weakest of actors can make a good motion picture. This is most certainly not one of those occasions. Rich boy Clay Beresford (Christensen) is suffering from a condition that requires a heart transplant, during his surgery he finds himself fully conscious but paralysed. Supposedly to escape from the pain he has an out of body experience during which he sets about unravelling a plot to end his life. So that's the utterly ridiculous plot, and when coupled with some inept acting, preposterous science, a twist that everyone can see coming and some indefensible storytelling devices then there's very little to left to like save Alba's good looks.
