DVD Reviews - November 3rd

THE HAPPENING

It may appear that M. Night Shyamalan is intent on seeing his career sink without a trace, but did he really have to try and drag down Mark Wahlberg with him. Now I'm a big fan of Marky Mark, despite a number of flops he has shown in the likes of 'The Departed' and 'Boogie Nights' his excellent acting capabilities, yet I can't help but worry for the direction of his career. 'The Happening' is a monumental flop, not only is it badly scripted, badly acted, possesses a terrible title and is frankly directionless but it's sanctimonious central message is too tough to swallow. The entirety of Shyamalan's wafer-thin plot simply concerns mother nature turning on us humans and releasing a toxin that makes us kill ourselves. This - as it is practically rammed down the audiences throats - is a warning that if we don't treat the environment better then it will come back to haunt us. It's less of a lesson and more of a stern telling off.   

Don't worry if you think I've given away the whodunnit facet of the story just now because it's abundantly clear from the word go, and don't hold out any hope for a trademark Shyamalan twist because there's none forthcoming. Perhaps I was unfair on the writer/director before as admittedly he has made some great movies in the past, but recently things seem to be going from bad to worse. 'The Happening' has somewhat of a B-movie feel and it creates all the tension of the worst B-movies. The script that has a problem with stating the bleeding obvious facilitates the limp atmosphere, Wahlberg's "oh no" speaks volumes for how the rest of us are feeling. Both Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel come off very badly, but it's hard to judge them too harshly considering what they are given to work with. It's hard to put into words how truly shocking this is, but thankfully it's bad enough that at least it may raise a few unintentional laughs.

Verdict: It may be happening, but you're going to wish it hadn't.

DVD Reviews - October 27th

IRON MAN

Robert Downey Jr has made one hell of a comeback, after drink and drugs had seemingly killed his career he has somehow not only returned to previous heights but seems to have emerged as Hollywood's golden boy. After working his way back to the top with a series of impressive supporting roles in the likes of 'Zodiac' and 'A Scanner Darkly', 2008 has seen Downey Jr steal the show in 'Tropic Thunder', line up the title role in Guy Ritchie's upcoming 'Sherlock Holmes' and most notably taking centre stage in 'Iron Man'. He plays Tony Stark, playboy billionaire and arms dealer extraordinaire who is kidnapped during a demonstration in Afghanistan. With a piece of shrapnel embedded in his chest and an electromagnet stopping it from penetrating his heart, Stark builds an iron suit to escape his captors and makes his way home. Once back he embarks on developing a more complex suit whilst unknown to him the grip he holds on his company and his life are under threat from an unlikely foe.

Although 'Iron Man' struggles to hide that it is little more than an origin story and the birth of a franchise, it does a near perfect job of establishing character and purpose for the (three already announced) sequels. Downey Jr is a revelation in the lead and has created one of the best alter egos in Tony Stark that the superhero genre has seen. Stark's charisma is undeniably what makes 'Iron Man' distinguish itself from the crowd, the supporting performances from Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Pots and Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stone act as the solid base upon which he is allowed to form. Story-wise there is nothing particularly ground-breaking, Iron Man's origin is compelling but once the suit is completed the thrust is lost and the final act is merely a series of crashes and bangs to shoehorn in the obligatory big fight climax. Up until then events are nothing short of gripping and it's fortunate that the film was made with the sequels in mind, as they have the potential to eradicate memories of the weak ending with the foundations that have been laid. In fact, the weakest link on this occasion, Terrence Howard, has been replaced by Don Cheadle for the 2010 follow up so there's every reason to be excited about the next chapter.

Verdict: A sturdy start for a franchise that looks set to only get better, as long as Downey Jr maintains the high standard set.


THE EDGE OF LOVE

Scripted by Sharman MacDonald, mother of the film's star Keira Knightley, 'The Edge of Love' is a film loosely based on the real life events of poet Dylan Thomas (Matthew Rhys). Set during the second World War, events are sparked by Thomas running back into his childhood sweetheart Vera Phillips (Knightley) and it seems the two still have feelings for each other. However, Thomas is now married to wife Caitlin (Sienna Miller) who, despite some early frostiness, becomes friends with Vera. This friendly rivalry is nothing compared to the conflict that arises between Thomas and soldier William (Cillian Murphy), who marries Vera before he's deployed abroad. It's a tale ultimately about the relationships between the four, with romance, mistrust and jealousy at the core.

The quality in performance of the four leads is staggeringly diverse, Knightley is superb and her Welsh accent is spot on, Rhys does a fine job portraying a brooding bastard of a poet, Murphy is dull and droll albeit in a role that allows him to do little more while Miller is shockingly bad and frankly shown up by the rest of the cast. Whether her accent was supposed to be English, Welsh or Irish seems destined to remain a mystery, however, the role was originally scheduled to be played by Lindsay Lohan so it may be the case that Miller's presence represents the lesser of two evils. The film's early dreamy vibe is enticing and draws you into the life of the poet and his friends, but later scenes in Wales seem dreary and the story peters out as it becomes clear that the characters lack the depth to carry such a feeling-heavy film.

Verdict: Less about Dylan Thomas than his friends and acquaintances, and none are well constructed enough to care too much about.

DVD Reviews - October 20th

HORTON HEARS A WHO

The team who crafted the 'Ice Age' films have this time turned their hand to the Dr. Seuss story in which Horton the elephant (Jim Carrey) discovers that there are tiny people living on a spec. Horton takes it upon himself to put the spec in a safe place and save the little Whos of Who-ville. Unfortunately for Horton and the Whos he faces trouble from a domineering kangaroo who claims that Horton is 'encouraging the children to have an imagination'. With a strong supporting voice cast including Seth Rogen and Steve Carell, and cameos from the likes of Amy Poehler, Jonah Hill, Jaime Pressly and Isla Fisher, it's certainly a star-studded event.

The vibrant animation creates a perfect blend of CG magic whilst staying true to the book's original illustrations, and though it may not be the best around in a market dominated by Dreamworks and Pixar, it hits all the right notes for a Dr. Seuss adaptation. It's pretty solid throughout and is bound to please the kids with a high laugh count and there's also the odd chuckle to be raised for the older viewer (Will Arnett's Vlad is a particular treat). Although the plot may be slightly contrived there's a moral behind it which is bound to speak to the younger viewer, maybe not as strongly however as in the original story. The ad hoc narration is weak and proves (as with 'The Grinch' and 'The Cat in the Hat') that Dr. Seuss works better on the page than it does on the screen, but regardless, it's twee and fun and a pleasng experience all round.

Verdict: Perfect for the small folk and bearable for anyone older and taller.



Also out on DVD this week is WANTED The review can be accessed on the main page by clicking here.

DVD Reviews - October 13th

SUPERHERO MOVIE

It's got to the stage with the so-called 'spoof' movies where it's simply a case of how bad they're going to be, and if one isn't truly terrible it's actually a pleasant surprise. 'Superhero Movie' is possibly one of the best spoofs I've seen in recent years, but that's not saying an awful lot. Don't be fooled by the title, this is not a spoof of the superhero genre, more accurately it's a direct parody of the original Spiderman. There's a single jab at X-Men, Batman Begins and Fantastic Four respectively, but other targets are few and far between. Not that the Spiderman observations are too sharp either, most are just memorable scenes recreated with a bit of slapstick thrown in.

One thing must be made very clear, David Zucker makes a far better spoof than his main competitors (Freidberg and Seltzer), but even so, it's hard to make much worse. Zucker at least largely steers clear of the offensive, save a horrendously inappropriate series of gags at the expense of Stephen Hawking. Unbelievably, some twenty years ago Zucker was teaming up with Leslie Nielsen to make the likes of Airplane and The Naked Gun, and perhaps that's what makes the pairings' latest output all the more depressing. It's as if Hollywood has lost the page in their dictionary where the word 'spoof' is described, and on occasions the phrase 'good taste'.

Verdict: Better than the other spoofs out there, but still terrible in it's own right.

THE RUINS

Some horrors rely heavily on gore and shock tactics to fill the scare quota whilst others depend more on escalating the tension and suspense to keep you on the edge of your seats. With 'The Ruins', relatively unknown director Carter Smith blends a bit of both in this years second most 'it was the plants what dunnit' talked about film. Thankfully this is nowhere near as bad as Shayamalan's 'The Happening', in fact, it's not too shabby at all. Initially things look bleak, four holiday-making (good-looking) teens make their way into the wilderness to look for someone who has gone missing and predictably things start to go a bit wrong. No marks for originality then, but as they say, it's all in the execution.

Save a few gory moments, 'The Ruins' rarely goes for the easy scare, as events slowly unfold the threat surrounding the surprisingly likable foursome escalates and the sense of desperation becomes all too clear. A fantastic central location works well as an arena in which to the effectively quarantine the group whilst despite some dodgy (at times unintentionally amusing) SFX, the plant-life growing throughout the temple provides a genuinely formidable threat. The end, admittedly, is a bit of a let down, but a darker and much improved alternate ending is available on the DVD.

Verdict: Don't be put off by the man-eating plants premise, all that sounds ridiculous is remedied by some smart and capable film-making.

Also out on DVD this week is THE INCREDIBLE HULK. The review can be accessed on the main page by clicking here.

DVD Reviews - August 25th

AWAKE

Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba at the top of a film’s billing is hardly going to inspire confidence...but then again, every so often even the weakest of actors can make a good motion picture. This is most certainly not one of those occasions. Rich boy Clay Beresford (Christensen) is suffering from a condition that requires a heart transplant, during his surgery he finds himself fully conscious but paralysed. Supposedly to escape from the pain he has an out of body experience during which he sets about unravelling a plot to end his life. So that's the utterly ridiculous plot, and when coupled with some inept acting, preposterous science, a twist that everyone can see coming and some indefensible storytelling devices then there's very little to left to like save Alba's good looks.

To call this film unrealistic is an understatement, the only believable plot point in amongst the twaddle is that someone would want to kill Hayden Christensen. When the surgery scene arrives a voiceover takes over, as Clay screams in pain you have to stop and wonder who is having the more painful experience, you or him? What 'Awake' does achieve is a good few laughs, after all it's hard not to laugh at something this poor. But then again, is it really funny that there are people making money from presuming that audiences will just eat up this garbage? To be fair, it doesn't start out all that badly but that's the only semi-compliment I can muster. It's a thriller that lacks suspense and frankly that's unforgivable.

Verdict: A film as bad as it looks and as painful as it sounds.

DVD Reviews - August 18th

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

A far cry from your traditional rom-com, 'Lars and the Real Girl' focuses on the relationship between Lars (Ryan Gosling) with his new girlfriend Bianca (a life-size, anatomically correct doll). Now clearly Lars isn't all there, he struggles to communicate with even his closest family and after when he orders Bianca from a website he treats her like a real person. His family become worried for his mental health and under the rouse of Bianca being ill, manage to take Lars to therapy sessions. The premise could easily lend itself to a smutty comedy but what presents itself is more sentimental fare, in the most offbeat and quirky way possible.

Ryan Gosling is fantastic in the lead role but it's about there the plaudits must stop. It's quite obvious that the filmmakers' intentions are all well placed, what's being attempted is admirable and you dearly want it to work. But it's all too twee, all too sweet, all to pure...and it really does not work. Lars' family and the local community show great understanding towards Lars, they play along with his madness and along the way we are shown how they grow with him. Sadly, this would just never happen, people are not that accepting and life is not filled with all the 'cute' moments that filter through Lars' world. What is attempted to be sentiment just comes off as weird, and just how the audience is supposed to accept that there is a 'real girl' with an interest in Lars, I will never know.

Verdict: Maybe it's a British thing, but on this side of the pond it just doesn't sit right.

LEATHERHEADS

It's really unsurprising that when you throw together an actor as interesting to watch as George 'charisma' Clooney and an actress as tedious as Renee Zellweger that what you get is fairly average. The film's plot revolves around the fledgling years of professional American Football in the US and one of it's main stars. Loosely based on real events and real players, Dodge Connolly (Clooney) brings war hero cum college football star Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski) to his team the Duluth Bulldogs, intending to use his fame to save the team. But reporter Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) throws a spanner in the works as she is set the task of investigating Rutherford's war heroics, whilst also attracting the affections of both Rutherford and Connolly.

If you're not interested in the NFL or sport in general it's not too much of a problem, it's unlikely to alienate you as in the hands of Clooney the game sequences are more fun than serious. But perhaps that is where the film has missed a trick. It's not a sports film, it's not a comedy, it's not a drama, it's a little bit of a lot of genres, it's a little bit dull. There are three plot threads, a romance lacking chemistry, a scandal which you'd rather stay uncovered and ball games of which you don't care about the outcome. It's just about watchable thanks mainly to Clooney (a man who probably sweats beads of charm) and a strong performance from The Office US star Krasinski despite a dour Zellweger and a weak script virtually neutralising their efforts.

Verdict: The various ingredients could be used to make stronger separate films, but together they're not the most appetising recipe.

MEET THE SPARTANS

The filmmakers know it's bad, the actors know it's bad, the critics know it's bad, the audience knows it's bad...so how on Earth does a film this diabolically bad make $85million. If there was a plot of which to speak of I'd be happy to explain it to you, but there isn't. What unfolds during the agonising 84 minutes is simply an overlong and unfunny riff on the fact that there was a slight homoerotic undercurrent present in 300. Because this one observation is hardly enough to fill a movie (although they do try), the cinematic antichrists Jason Freidberg and Aaron Seltzer feel the need to poke fun at any popular film or celebrity of the past six months. Hilarious!

If you buy this DVD or go watch this at the cinema you are simply encouraging them to make more, so please don't. Their latest output 'Disaster Movie' is likely to be just as bad, avoid it please at all costs. It's not like they're even putting any effort in, the lookalike celebrity's always arrive to a line such as "look, it's Britney Spears" or "Lindsay Lohan, what are you doing here", because otherwise you simply wouldn't know who the actress was supposed to be. The gags are repeated and even explained afterwards just in case you didn't get it the first time. Not only is it not funny, it's offensive to the celebrities it targets and an insult to it's audience's intelligence. If any film make's Sex and the City look inspirational, it's this. I don't like it, can you tell?

Verdict: Less fun than masturbating with a cheese grater.

DVD Reviews - August 11th

IN BRUGES

I have a theory that I'd like to put forward, and that is that everything immediately becomes funnier when said in an Irish accent. My theory bodes well for Martin McDonagh's comedy 'In Bruges', his first full length feature following Oscar winning short he directed, 'Six Shooter'. It follows two hitmen, Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) who are sent to hide out in Bruges by boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes) following a hit gone awry for Ray. What follows is a deviously dark comedy that is charmingly offensive in the hands of the two leads as it pokes fun at Belgium, Americans and racist midgets (although they prefer to be called dwarves) amongst others.

Farrell is perfectly cast as the juvenile Ray who is bored stiff in the Flemish city (albeit still tormented by the enormity of accidently killing a child during the hit) and he strikes a marvellous chemistry with Gleeson's more willing tourist Ken, catalysed by a superbly sharp witted script. The jokes are superb and the characters are so well forged that there are some truly touching moments between them towards the end. On the flip side there isn't a huge amount of plot to speak of and Fiennes' character is merely a watered down version of Sir Ben Kingsley's iconic role in 'Sexy Beast'. This can all be forgiven thanks to the consistent laughs and unique brand of morbid comedy that provides a welcome change to the standard Hollywood fare.

Verdict: Probably not for the easily offended but definitely for anyone with a good sense of humour, it's one that will grow and grow on you.


[REC]

Jaume Balguero's Spanish horror flick has been successful enough that not only has it secured a sequel but also an American remake, entitled 'Quarantine' which will be released later in the year. It utilises the (now surely exhausted) device of filming on handheld cameras, this time it's a news cameraman doing the filming and he is following television reporter Angela Vidal (Manuela Velasco). The news duo are following two fire-fighters for a night, when they are called out to an apartment building and a fireman and a policeman are viciously attacked the health authorities seal off the building with them and the residents trapped inside.

There was once a time when filming using a handheld camera would set your film apart from the crowd but there has now been a glut of such films and it would require something special to stand out from the crowd. '[REC]' doesn't really stand out but establishes itself as a solid example of the handheld-horror sub-genre. There are a good amount of scares and the tension is maintained throughout. Velasco's engaging reporter is the character we're supposed to root for and her endearing performance makes it hard not to, however there aren't any other character's developed enough to warrant a mention. The ending however is disappointing and the final shot almost laughable but it's short running time means that there's rarely a dull moment.

Verdict: It's fairly average and there's certainly nothing new on show but it's still a decent watch. For those who don't like subtitles, 'Quarantine' arrives in October.


SON OF RAMBOW
Fear not, this is not a spoof of Rambo, but the tale of two young boys who set about making a home movie sequel to 'Rambo: First Blood' and along the way forge an unlikely friendship. It's set in the glamorous location of Plymouth (circa the early 80's) and our protagonists come in the form of Will (Bill Milner) - a shy boy from a deeply religious family - and Lee Carter (Will Poulter) - the bad boy of his school but bullied by hid older brother. The two connect when Will (whose religion forbids him from watching television, listening to music etc) sees First Blood for the first time and his imagination runs away with him, Lee Carter borrows his brothers video camera and they set about making their own version.

The two boys as leads are fantastic, the performances are touching and their interaction together is fantastic. The way the two characters' relationship grows throughout the film is in no way artificial, they become friends without really realising and it is this friendship that underpins the entire movie. It's easy to scoff at the premise and ponder how sickeningly cheesy it may be, but upon viewing there thankfully isn't a whiff of this. So much credit must go to director Garth Jennings the story is based on his own childhood and one senses that this is how the youngsters are so easy to relate to. The scenes of the home movie being filmed are a hoot (the casting of Rambo a particular delight) with the humour glistening through even the more subdued scenes. And even the man himself Sly Stallone is a fan, calling it "heart-warming", now who can argue with that?

Verdict: A huge improvement for Jennings whose previous picture 'The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy' was very disappointing. Think 'Be Kind Rewind' but with a lot more heart and substance.

DVD Releases - August 4th

VANTAGE POINT

The president has been shot...or has he? The filmmakers are employing an inventive storytelling device...or are they? All is not as it seems in this star-studded mystery thriller which utilises the Rashomon-esque technique of telling the story from a multitude of character perspectives, which serves to slowly reveal the true nature of the terrorist attack/assassination attempt at a Spanish summit. The different perspectives we experience are from a news producer (Sigourney Weaver), secret service agents (Dennis Quaid and Matthew Fox), a police officer (Eduardo Noreiga), an American tourist (Forest Whitaker), the president (William Hurt), and the terrorists - and it's at this point that the film relinquishes it's gimmick and turns into a by-the-book action movie.

When the various POV route is abandoned in the final act the film descends into what can only be described as an overlong episode of 24 (and Quaid isn't no match for Kiefer). The plot may include various twists and turns but they're not all that interesting and the carefully layered revelations are rendered useless by the chaotic final scenes and the dull finale. Forest Whitaker's presence is puzzling, his character has a very minor role to play in the larger story and one suspects he may have only been cast so the phrase 'featuring Oscar winning actor' could be used on the poster. The major cast provide solid but unremarkable performances but none of them can save the film from it's silly plot and a lack of willing to see an interesting device through all the way to the end.

Verdict: It could have been so much better, a good idea badly executed. Massively disappointing, even the action's not all that.

DVD Releases - July 28th

27 DRESSES

Jane Nichols (Katherine Heigl) is always the bridesmaid but never the bride...hmm, I wonder how this one's going to end. But not only that, her boss - who she also happens to be in love with - is set to marry her younger sister Tess (Malin Akerman) whilst she's being harassed by handsome (the film takes the time to even tell us how handsome he is) wedding journalist Kevin Doyle (James Marsden). So things aren't too rosy for Jane and naturally her frustrations lend to a lot of humorous situations. It's your typical rom-com and delivers exactly what you'd expect; a mixture of laughs and romance with an overwhelming feeling of pleasantness.

The concept is simple and at times the script is far too simple as well and it is left to Katherine Heigl to effectively carry the piece on her shoulders. In all fairness she does it fantastically well and confirms her capability as a leading lady after impressing in last year's 'Knocked Up'. Heigl possesses the charm, likability and comedic potential to turn what could be have very dull into something just about watchable. Malin Akerman also provides sturdy support which makes up for James Marsden's galling love interest. It's thoroughly inoffensive fair which will satisfy the ladies and is a bearable enough chick-flick for the men to sit through too.

Verdict: Very much Heigl's movie, she alone secures the third star which without her it would have struggled to achieve.

FUNNY GAMES

Effectively a shot for shot remake of the 1997 German original, 'Funny Games' is Michael Haneke's attempt to bring the message of the original to a wider audience. So this time around it's English language and with big name actors; Naomi Watts, Tim Roth and Michael Pitt being the most recognisable. The attempt is to examine the sanitisation of violence in cinema and it's subsequent effects on society through devices such as character's directly addressing the camera, turning the camera from the violence or even rewinding events to erase the effects of violence. The situation Haneke uses to demonstrate this is two young men (Pitt and Brady Corbert) arrive at the house of George (Roth), Ann (Watts) and son Georgie (Devon Gearheart) and embark on tormenting and torturing the family.

The problem is that the kind of people who are likely to see 'Funny Games' are unlikely to be the same audience who went to see 'Saw', 'Captivity' or 'Hostel' and Haneke will likely find himself preaching to the converted. His point is undeniably very well made and fantastic casting provides a bleak and hopeless sense to proceedings which is largely lacking from standard Hollywood fare. Overwhelmingly though you can't help but feel you're being preached at and looked down upon if you have ever enjoyed a piece of Hollywood horror. It often forgets it also has to maintain audience attention and some sections are tediously slow - it may work as a protest piece throughout but it wobbles considerably as an entertaining film.

Verdict: We get the point, violence in cinema is often handled very badly. But if you want our money Herr Haneke you have to make the point in a more interesting way.

DVD Releases - July 21st

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE

Seeing as all the boys love Mandy Lane, you would expect Amber Heard's character to be the most interesting and exciting character in Jonathan Levine's horror flick...but it turns out she's just as dull as the film itself. Mandy (Amber Heard) and her friends are spending a weekend away on a secluded ranch and after the group get through the standard mix of sex, booze, drugs and nudity they begin to be picked off by a mysterious killer. I say mysterious, but in reality the identity of the murderer is agonisingly obvious within the opening ten minutes and is even revealed fully at the midway point of the movie.

Such is the repugnance of Mandy's friends it's strangely satisfying to see them picked off one by one - if only for the knowledge that you no longer have to put up with watching them. However any actual entertainment value in the killings seems just as absent as an interesting plot, this is simply a by the numbers slasher death-fest. A small twist is delivered right at the end but it does little to salvage any shred of interest you have left in the film. Ultimately, at least the question of why the boys really do love Mandy Lane is answered. When you see what their other female friends are like...I think we'd all pick dull but pretty over detestable, brain-dead bimbos any day of the week.

Verdict: I can quite comfortably guarantee that all the even though all the boys love her, a vast majority of viewers will not!

THE ORPHANAGE

Comparisons to 2001's 'The Others' are flattering but possibly do not do the Spanish language 'El Orfanato' justice. With Guillermo del Toro's name attached in both presenting the movie and as a producer Juan Antonio Bayona will have found it a lot easier to distribute his debut feature to a wider international audience - which is what a film of this quality absolutely deserves. The creepy old house setting may at first strike of horror cliché but when it is used to such great effect one can hardly complain. The Orphanage truly is a psychological horror, scares do not come from darkness but what you fear may emerge from it. And whilst jumps are few and far between, the terror that builds through apprehension is immense (it does however remain to be seen if this can be recreated as well on DVD as in a dark cinema).

The story follows former orphan Laura (Belen Rueda) whose HIV-positive adoptive son Simon (Roger Princep) disappears not long after he makes a new imaginary friend, Tomas. Laura's love for Simon and her desperation to find him are what drives the film and you can't help but sympathise with her. Rueda's gutsy performance is the linchpin of the piece, Laura's emotional torment raising the question of whether this is a legitimate ghost story or one woman's descent into madness. Sadness oozes throughout the tale and it's hard not to become emotionally involved, which is probably why it is so chilling to watch. The final scene is monumental and is probably the perfect climax, one that leaves you with just enough answers and a bit of room for your own interpretation.

Verdict: Del Toro's magical touch is apparent in a wonderfully eerie tale. I'll openly admit I was terrified, hopefully you will be too!

DRILLBIT TAYLOR

Sooner or later Judd Apatow's revenge of the nerds movies had to take a turn for the worse, 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', 'Knocked Up' and 'Superbad' were all successes but with 'Drillbit Taylor' Apatow may have gone one geek too far. Each time the geeks seem to get younger and this time in the form of Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) and they're just starting high school. After finding themselves the victims of bullying they hire bodyguard Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) who unbeknownst to them is little more than a thieving bum. Somehow Drillbit manages to get inside their school by posing as a substitute teacher and hilarity ensues...or at least it should.

Although there are some genuinely funny scenes (Ryan's rap-off being the pick of them) there are barely enough laughs to warrant a watch. Owen Wilson as we all know can be hysterically funny but he is given no opportunity to be here, his brand of comedy just doesn't work with the kidlets and Drillbit should be far funnier than he is. The entire production just seems lazy, the characters are all rip offs from earlier Apatow works and the plot is distinctly lacklustre. Perhaps 'Drillbit Taylor' was looking for a younger audience, hence the younger cast, but surely there was space for another significant adult role to bring out Wilson's best. The children aren't terrible but for the most part they're irritating - by fault of the script, not performances. It's the kind of disappointing effort that is the direct result of a lot of laurel resting.

Verdict: A very much forgettable piece of cinema that proves having an overweight character with curly brown hair isn't automatically funny.

DVD Releases - July 14th

I'M NOT THERE

There is no doubt that Todd Haynes has high aspirations with 'I'm Not There', a biographical film based on the life Bob Dylan. Strangely, Dylan himself is not directly portrayed in the piece, instead six different incarnations of Dylan are symbolised through other characters, each representing a different aspect of his kaleidoscopic life and career. We have the young black actor Marcus Carl Franklin playing Woodie Guthrie as a young, travelling hobo version of Dylan, Christian Bale plays Jack Rollins -showcasing both Dylan's early political-folk career and later as a born again Christian, Cate Blanchett plays Jude Quinn as Dylan at the height of his fame when his original fan-base is rejecting him, Heath Ledger plays actor Robbie Clark - who himself plays Jack Rollins in a film within the film - representing Dylan the divorcee, Richard Gere is an aging Billie the Kid as Dylan searching for the roots of American Folklore, and finally, Ben Whishaw plays the young poet and rebel Arthur Rimbaud. Phew, are you still with me, I think I've even confused myself. The films itself flicks between these different characters in a semi-chronological order, it’s less confusing to watch than it is to explain.

Different film stock and styles are used for each character's story to distinguish them easily which helps form each character well but there is most certainly an uneven balance between each character. Whishaw hardly stars, Gere only features very late on and Blanchett's Dylan seems to dominate in comparison. Her version is by far the most interesting and her performance is a fascinating watch, she perfectly encapsulates Bob, more so than any of her counterparts - a remarkable feat considering she is playing a member of the opposite sex. Without a doubt we get a view of many facets of Dylan, but the six depictions are so different that you find it hard to believe they are all parts of one whole. There is also a pretentious edge throughout and feel's like a large scale student film which has fallen closer to self-indulgence than entertainment. ‘Trying too hard’ is the overall impression, a film of Blanchett's Dylan alone may have been a more entertaining, if less fulfilling ride.

Verdict: If you're a fan of Dylan the soundtrack is a delight and you will doubtless be satisfied, if not you may be vaguely interested but little more.

THE COTTAGE

Paul Andrew Williams was lauded as 'the next big thing' in British cinema after his debut picture 'London To Brighton' arrived in 2006 to great critical reception. His follow-up feature as both writer and director is the horror-comedy 'The Cottage' starring Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith (of The League of Gentlemen fame), and Jennifer Ellison in her film debut. Serkis and Shearsmith play brothers, David and Peter, who kidnap Tracey (Ellison), the daughter of a crime boss and hide her in the titular cottage. Things start to take a turn for the worse as Tracey turns the tables on her captors and sets off with Peter into the strange countryside surroundings where they encounter The Farmer.

The Cottage’s main problem lies in striking the balance between horror and comedy effectively, it is hilarious in parts and the horror is solid when it eventually kicks in but there are very few occasions when it manages to pull both off at the same time. The obvious genre comparison is 'Shaun of the Dead' and when one remembers the effortless fusion of laughs, scares and emotion that Pegg and co achieved, The Cottage's flaws are magnified. However, although it may not be a classic it has the thrills and spills to constantly satisfy thanks to great casting and a simple yet effective plot. Jennifer Ellison is surprisingly entertaining, her foul-mouthed, angry and annoying Scouser is a joy, but one suspects this may be the limit of her acting capabilities. There is a little something for everyone here, it may not be ground-breaking, but it’s hard to find much to be too down about.

Verdict: This fine showcase of British talent is definitely worth a watch. However, rent don't buy, there's little to warrant a repeat viewing.

THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES

'The Spiderwick Chronicles' was originally a series of popular children’s books by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black, the five books have been rolled into one for this year's Nickelodeon produced film. Freddie Highmore stars as twins Jared and Simon Grace, the former finding a field guide to magical creatures which when he takes outside, attracts the attention of the ogre Mulgarath (Nick Nolte) who wants it for himself. He must protect the book and all faerie-kind whilst trying to convince his family that he is telling the truth on an adventure which brings him face-to-face with goblins, trolls, brownies, hobgoblins, slyphs, griffins and some long-forgotten members of his own family (including the author of the field guide himself).

The film has everything for the kids, action, adventure, laughs, charming lead characters and a scary baddie - I would however question the PG rating, there are some parts that may just be too scary for young children and 12A might have been a more appropriate certificate. Highmore is terrific and is beginning to establish himself as one of the top child stars of his generation. He is presented with the tough task of playing twins but he rises to the challenge and delivers two fine performances at once, separating the two personas expertly. The film does rely too heavily on special effects which is a shame as otherwise it manages to sustain a genuine level of menace without losing its fun. There also seems to a lot of pointless adventuring for our protagonists but you can't grumble too much when they've managed to cut down five books into one film with an ideal 96-minute running time.

Verdict: One for the kids but at the same time not too difficult for an older audience to enjoy. It's better than most of the Potter's but be wary of showing it to children too young as there be scary goblins and whatnot!

DVD Releases - July 7th

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

A great man once described 'There Will Be Blood' as "redefining the language of modern cinema" - he wasn't far wrong. Unjustly Paul Thomas Anderson was robbed of both Best Picture and Best Director honours by the Academy, but the film did still win two Oscars, Best Actor for Daniel Day-Lewis and Best Cinematography for Robert Elswit. For me personally, this was most certainly the greatest film of the year, if not the decade. I would advise anyone with two and a half hours to spare to witness this cinematic delight. It is by no means an easy watch and at first is perhaps difficult to enjoy, you simply sit in awe and wonder as you try to deconstruct this behemoth in your head. There is no dialogue whatsoever in the opening 25 minutes, but this goes by unnoticed due to the gripping events transpiring on screen. Contrastingly, the final scenes are crammed with dialogue, energy and are so shocking being that they are so out of kilt with the rest of the picture, that many have questioned whether they ruin what the film had until then achieved. Afterwards however, once you think about it, and I mean really think about it, you'll realise how fantastically perfect the ending actually was and that you have just witnessed something rather special.

The film hinges on the central conflict between Eli Sunday (Paul Dano) and Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) who as an evangelical preacher and oil tycoon respectively, are immediately at odds, and it is this relationship that really drives the film. Day-Lewis' performance is without a doubt Oscar worthy and for a man whose CV boasts so many incredible performances, he manages to achieve what seemed impossible and eclipse them all in breathtaking fashion. He has completely immersed himself in Daniel Plainview and created one of the most complex and fascinating characters imaginable, who - irrespective of how many times you see the movie - is almost impossible to decipher. The film's score is also a particular delight and was created by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood, it is sinister, foreboding, and adds a whole new dimension to the piece. Come to think about it, there is little that doesn't shine here and I could be writing for hours about every intricate detail that makes this a masterpiece, instead I urge you to go watch it as soon as you possibly so that you can experience it for yourself.

Verdict: So good that I already own it on DVD. It won't please everyone, but if you truly appreciate film then this is unmissable. Deus Ex Machina's first ever 5-star review!



THE BUCKET LIST

Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) are about to 'kick the bucket', and thanks to a ridiculous piece of plotting that lands the billionaire and the lowly mechanic in a hospital room together, they form an unlikely friendship that will change the shape of their final months on this Earth. So from the opening moments of the film we all know how it will end, we are going to lose the characters we have grown to love over the past 90 minutes or so, but somehow it will all have to be strangely uplifting. Such a flimsy plot inevitably struggles as the titular ‘Bucket List’ tries its hardest to pad the story out and make up for the poor concept, script and direction.

The film stays afloat thanks to the two stalwarts, Freeman and Nicholson, who are just about charismatic enough to carry the film despite its numerous shortcomings. There is still however a distinct lack of imagination in their casting, both stay well within their comfort zones and you will be convinced that you've seen them both play their respective characters before, albeit under a different guise. Morgan Freeman also narrates – big mistake - every time he speaks you cringe as you half expect to hear mention of Andy Dufrane and some lines even seem directly lifted from Shawshank. Ultimately, as good as they are, the two stars are wasted here and should think more carefully about other roles they choose before they themselves kick the bucket.

Verdict: To compensate for the death being depressing, the film's central message is to 'find the joy in your life'....finding the joy in watching this film will likely prove far harder to attain.

DVD Releases - June 30th

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

Adapted from the book of the same name by Phillipa Gregory, 'The Other Boleyn Girl' is a historical epic based around two sisters, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary Boleyn (Scarlett Johansson) fighting to be the object of King Henry VIII's (Eric Bana) affections. Quite why these three key roles were given to an Israeli, American and Australian respectively is a mystery when one feels British actors could have done just as good a job in such a quintessentially British tale. English talent David Morrissey and Kristin Scott-Thomas are fantastic in supporting roles which only goes to highlight this further.

The film blends fact and fiction in the telling of this famous tale concerning possibly the most influential Queen Consort in English history. The line between truth and embellishment is truly blurred and what emerges is less a film than a soap opera. Key events are simply glanced upon as the film attempts to pack in every possible plot point but with no real depth (the Church of England's break with Rome garners but two scenes of attention). The characterisation also suffers here and such captivating historical figures see their potential unfulfilled. Portman and Johansson do well with flimsy parts, Bana, however, outshines them and it is a pity he gets such little screen time.

Verdict: Lacking in depth but rife with Eastenders-esque scandal and excitement. Good fun, but little more.

THE BANK JOB

Based on a true story, Jason Statham heads a heist on a London bank and finds more in the vault than he bargained for. The vault is home to many a private deposit box filled with secrets, the crown jewels of which (excuse the pun) are compromising pictures of Princess Margaret engaging in what can only be described as 'a casual threesome'. As with the previously reviewed film, it is unclear how much of what is told really happened and how much has been added for entertainment purposes, but it is an intriguing tale nonetheless.

This isn't your typical Statham outing, not as much shouting, punching and explosions as we may have come to expect - the man clearly thrives on those aspects and struggles outside his comfort zone. The true story behind the film offers so much more and one feels that in safer hands, and with better casting, it could have been. Ultimately the film we see before us sadly seems destined for a Saturday night on Channel Five. The is reminiscent of 2001's 'The Parole Officer', with less laughs and more plot complications. Never thrilling, but well paced and not overly long and with a bit of nudity thrown in for the lads.

Verdict - Not awful, but nothing you won’t have seen done much better before. If it does ever pop up on Channel Five it may be worth a watch, but only if there's nothing else on.

BE KIND REWIND

Jack Black and Mos Def team up in Michel Gondry's (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) latest release in a comedy revolving around a failing video rental store. Early on the film struggles as an utterly ridiculous plot device becomes the catalyst for proceedings - Jerry (Black) breaks into a power plant, is subsequently electrocuted and wipes all the videos in the store Mike (Mos Def) works in. The pair then set about recording their own, shortened versions of these films in a process referred to as "sweding".

The sweding scenes are hilarious (more can be viewed on the film's official website) and really kick start the movie which at times threatened to never get going. These best of the sweding’s include Ghostbusters and Driving Miss Daisy and its a shame when this fantastic second act has to end and the plot re-emerge. Again the film struggles as the 'baddies' are introduced and a resolution to the tale has to be reached, but just as things seem to be falling apart Gondry produces a highly touching and emotive ending. Although badly paced and boring in parts, the film does have its merits and deserves credit for an original idea and it's side-splitting swedings.

Verdict: Swedings aside, this isn't a great film. But they alone make it worth a watch and the best DVD release of the week.