Seeing as all the boys love Mandy Lane, you would expect Amber Heard's character to be the most interesting and exciting character in Jonathan Levine's horror flick...but it turns out she's just as dull as the film itself. Mandy (Amber Heard) and her friends are spending a weekend away on a secluded ranch and after the group get through the standard mix of sex, booze, drugs and nudity they begin to be picked off by a mysterious killer. I say mysterious, but in reality the identity of the murderer is agonisingly obvious within the opening ten minutes and is even revealed fully at the midway point of the movie. Such is the repugnance of Mandy's friends it's strangely satisfying to see them picked off one by one - if only for the knowledge that you no longer have to put up with watching them. However any actual entertainment value in the killings seems just as absent as an interesting plot, this is simply a by the numbers slasher death-fest. A small twist is delivered right at the end but it does little to salvage any shred of interest you have left in the film. Ultimately, at least the question of why the boys really do love Mandy Lane is answered. When you see what their other female friends are like...I think we'd all pick dull but pretty over detestable, brain-dead bimbos any day of the week.
Verdict: I can quite comfortably guarantee that all the even though all the boys love her, a vast majority of viewers will not!
THE ORPHANAGE
Comparisons to 2001's 'The Others' are flattering but possibly do not do the Spanish language 'El Orfanato' justice. With Guillermo del Toro's name attached in both presenting the movie and as a producer Juan Antonio Bayona will have found it a lot easier to distribute his debut feature to a wider international audience - which is what a film of this quality absolutely deserves. The creepy old house setting may at first strike of horror cliché but when it is used to such great effect one can hardly complain. The Orphanage truly is a psychological horror, scares do not come from darkness but what you fear may emerge from it. And whilst jumps are few and far between, the terror that builds through apprehension is immense (it does however remain to be seen if this can be recreated as well on DVD as in a dark cinema).The story follows former orphan Laura (Belen Rueda) whose HIV-positive adoptive son Simon (Roger Princep) disappears not long after he makes a new imaginary friend, Tomas. Laura's love for Simon and her desperation to find him are what drives the film and you can't help but sympathise with her. Rueda's gutsy performance is the linchpin of the piece, Laura's emotional torment raising the question of whether this is a legitimate ghost story or one woman's descent into madness. Sadness oozes throughout the tale and it's hard not to become emotionally involved, which is probably why it is so chilling to watch. The final scene is monumental and is probably the perfect climax, one that leaves you with just enough answers and a bit of room for your own interpretation.
Verdict: Del Toro's magical touch is apparent in a wonderfully eerie tale. I'll openly admit I was terrified, hopefully you will be too!
DRILLBIT TAYLOR
Sooner or later Judd Apatow's revenge of the nerds movies had to take a turn for the worse, 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', 'Knocked Up' and 'Superbad' were all successes but with 'Drillbit Taylor' Apatow may have gone one geek too far. Each time the geeks seem to get younger and this time in the form of Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) and they're just starting high school. After finding themselves the victims of bullying they hire bodyguard Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) who unbeknownst to them is little more than a thieving bum. Somehow Drillbit manages to get inside their school by posing as a substitute teacher and hilarity ensues...or at least it should.Although there are some genuinely funny scenes (Ryan's rap-off being the pick of them) there are barely enough laughs to warrant a watch. Owen Wilson as we all know can be hysterically funny but he is given no opportunity to be here, his brand of comedy just doesn't work with the kidlets and Drillbit should be far funnier than he is. The entire production just seems lazy, the characters are all rip offs from earlier Apatow works and the plot is distinctly lacklustre. Perhaps 'Drillbit Taylor' was looking for a younger audience, hence the younger cast, but surely there was space for another significant adult role to bring out Wilson's best. The children aren't terrible but for the most part they're irritating - by fault of the script, not performances. It's the kind of disappointing effort that is the direct result of a lot of laurel resting.
Verdict: A very much forgettable piece of cinema that proves having an overweight character with curly brown hair isn't automatically funny.
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